Growing up during Sri Lanka’s civil war taught me that getting along with people across divides is a virtue we can learn

Published on April 5, 2026

As a child in Sri Lanka during the civil war, I was surrounded by a society torn apart division. The backdrop of my formative years was marked , ethnic strife, and a deep-seated animosity that permeated communities. Yet, even in such a fragmented environment, I learned that the capacity to forge connections with people across diverse faiths and cultures is a vital virtue that can be cultivated.

Growing up amid the cacophony of gunfire and the grim reality of displacement, it was easy to feel isolated within one’s own community. However, my parents instilled in me the importance of empathy, understanding, and dialogue. They reminded me that our identities are not solely defined or religious beliefs, but also to reach out, listen, and build bridges.

In the face of the civil war, my family often welcomed those from different backgrounds into our home. I remember vividly the conversations shared with friends and neighbors from various faiths. These interactions often began with hesitation but blossomed into meaningful relationships grounded in mutual respect. It was through these experiences that I came to appreciate the richness of pluralism—recognizing that our differences were not barriers, but rather gateways to deeper understanding.

This journey taught me that pluralism is not merely an abstract ideal but a practice shaped through everyday interactions. The ability to engage with others, to see the world through their eyes, and to acknowledge their struggles transformed my understanding of community. It inspired in me a commitment to pursue dialogues that bridge divides, and to advocate for collaborative solutions that safeguard peace.

As I reflect on those years, I recognize the profound lessons embedded in the resilience of everyday people. The war may have challenged our coexistence, but it also highlighted the extraordinary capacity for love and compassion that exists within us all. It demonstrated that even in the darkest times, there are opportunities for connection and growth.

Today, as a scholar studying the virtues that nurture interfaith and intercultural relationships, I emphasize the importance of cultivating pluralistic values within our communities. It is through practices such as active listening, open-mindedness, and respect for differing perspectives that we can strengthen the social fabric of our society.

The lessons learned from my childhood in Sri Lanka continue to resonate as I witness increased polarization in many parts of the world today. The antidote to division lies not only in tolerance but in the active pursuit of understanding. We must strive to surround ourselves with diverse voices, engage in meaningful conversations, and offer support across boundaries.

In a time when division often feels insurmountable, I hold onto the belief that getting along with others is an achievable virtue. It requires intentional effort, shared experiences, and the recognition that our collective humanity is far more powerful than the differences that may separate us. I urge individuals everywhere to embrace the opportunity to learn from one another, for it is in our shared stories that we discover the essence of what it means to live together in harmony.

Growing up during Sri Lanka’s civil war taught me that getting along with people across divides is a virtue we can learn

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