Published on March 31, 2026
Kotei chewed on the flameless cigarette between two fingers on his left hand, regretting it was the last he took from the pack. He wished the manufacturers could load more into the paper box. He wouldn’t mind the cost, as long as it reduced the frequency of his visits to Handzin Ayen, two streets away, where he would buy another pack to ease the relentless stress of the holidays.
As Christmas approached, the air was filled with a festive spirit that he could hardly embrace. For the fishermen in his community, this time of year held a dual-edged sword. While others prepared for joyous celebrations, Kotei found himself grappling with the haunting absence of his son, Kayode, who had tragically passed away earlier in the year. This holiday would be devoid of the laughter and cheer that once filled their home.
Kotei reflected on the last Christmas they spent together, a time when Kayode’s enthusiasm for fishing ignited their bond anew. They would wake before dawn, their faces illuminated glow of the early morning sun, setting out to sea in their rickety boat. The thrill of the catch and the shared tales created memories that were now but shadows.
That world had collapsed around him, leaving Kotei to navigate through the darkness of grief alone. As he watched his neighbors hang twinkling lights and listen to carols, his heart ached with an emptiness that no amount of decoration could fill. He could not fathom preparing a holiday meal, nor did he have the appetite for the usual gatherings. The thought of an empty chair at the dinner table was unbearable.
Kotei tried to focus on fishing, hoping the rhythmic sound of the waves would drown out his sorrow, but every cast of the net reminded him of what was lost. The sea felt like a cruel reminder of Kayode’s absence, as if it was mocking him with the fish that glided beneath the surface, indifferent to his pain.
He noticed other fishermen were also feeling the strain, as business had declined sharply. The markets were filled with locals eager to celebrate, but each sale that went unclaimed seemed to echo the loss they all felt. Most of them had families to support, while Kotei faced the emptiness of his grief alone.
As Christmas Eve approached, Kotei wandered down the familiar paths, hoping to catch a glimpse of joy. He witnessed families bustling in and out of local shops, laughter spilling into the streets like festive decorations. But those sounds were foreign to him now, a melody without harmony.
Standing , Kotei thought of igniting a small fire, a humble tribute to his son. He wanted to feel connected to him one last time, longing to share stories that would never be told again. With tears welling up, he cast his net one last time that day, not knowing if it was to catch fish or to release the sorrows that weighed heavily on his heart.
For Kotei, this Christmas would not be filled with the warmth of family. There would be no dinner, no celebratory toasts, and no memories to be made. Instead, he would spend it as he felt – a solitary fisherman casting his line into the depths of the sea, hoping to find solace in the waves while remembering his beloved son so dearly missed.
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